FuckYeah! Ask a Bi!

Anonymous said: When having sex with another woman is there any form of protection I should use?

Talking to your sexual partner about their history is a good place to start, there is nothing wrong with making sure both of you are clean and STD-free (of course asking RIGHT BEFORE sex might not be the best time, but there is a way to go about doing this). 

Otherwise have you ever heard of dental-dams? They’re like a condom but they are actually for females to use, yeah condoms get a lot more attn but they do exist. Of course, us women do like the taste of other women, so most of us don’t like to use dental dams (where’s the fun in that?) but should your partner be alarmed or unsure of their sexual history it might be a good idea to use one until you are both tested. Here’s something I’ve copied from another site. 

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Dental dams are small, thin, square pieces of latex that are used for oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. They get their name from their use in dental procedures. Dental dams prevent STDs during oral sex by keeping vaginal and anal fluids that contain bacteria and viruses away from the mouth. They come in a variety of sizes and flavors - so you can find a dam that satisfies your tastes. 

Dental dams prevent many STDs, such as herpes, genital warts and HIV, that can be transmitted through oral sex. Like condoms, dental dams must be used correctly and consistently in order to be effective. 

Although it may seem a little awkward to use them at first, dental dams are extremely easy to use. Before using the dam you may want to rinse off any powder that’s on the dam and check the dam to make sure there are no holes or tears. Hold the dam against the vulva or anus of your partner before you have oral sex. Using lube before putting on the dam can make it feel better for your partner. Use water-based lube (K-Y® or Astroglide®) because oil-based lubes (Vaseline® or baby oil) and lotions can weaken the latex and decrease the dam’s effectiveness.

When you use the dental dam, be sure to ONLY use one side. Don’t flip the dam over for another round because you will expose yourself to the very fluids you’re trying to avoid! And do not re-use a dam on another body part (e.g. from anus to vulva or vice-versa) because you can transfer germs from one body area to another. Do not re-use a dam for another act of oral sex later on either. Dams are for one-time use only.

Many people believe using a dam will take the joy out of oral sex. That’s not how it has to be! Granted, the feeling of latex will be different than a tongue, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Using a dental dam with lube can offer your partner a new type of stimulation. Although oral sex is considered less risky than vaginal or anal sex, there is still a risk of transmitting STDs. To be as safe as possible, use a dental dam for every act of oral sex.

If you don’t have a dental dam you can make one out of a male or female condom, latex glove, or non-microwavable Saran Wrap. To make a dental dam out of a condom, simply cut off the tip and cut down one side. To make a dental dam out of a latex glove, cut off the finger and cut down one side. If using Saran™ wrap, it is important that it be non-microwavable because the pores in microwaveable Saran™ wrap are large enough to allow viruses and bacteria to pass through.”
 - Link


Anonymous said: Before I got involved with the online LGBT+ I never understood why people always had such a hard time coming out. When I was a freshman in HS (I'm a jr. now) was when I realized I was bi, and almost all my friends were gay/lesbian/bi, and I swear my mom knew I was bi before I did. After reading all the problems and hate other people get, I'm scared to come out to any one else I know, I want to be openly bi, but I don't want to go through all the bad stuff others have

Hey there,

So a lot of people aren’t so lucky to have lots of friends and family who are supportive. A lot of times people are surrounded by those who may not understand or support them and therefore get hate because they are different than everyone else.

You should not be afraid to be openly bi. Yes reading about the hate may be scary but not everyone experiences that hate. 

Honestly, I didn’t necessarily get hate but it wasn’t the easiest time of my life. But being open makes me happier than not. It’s totally up to you if you come out to everyone. If you feel that you are safe and want to be open then go right ahead.

I hope this helped.

-Alex


Anonymous said: what do hard femme and soft femme mean? and there's a third one, right?

alrighty, i had to do a bit of research on this one.

according to urban dictionary: “Not to be mistaken with the typical femme, the “hard femme” describes herself as “queer”, is political, looks more feminine than masculine, and if prompted, can kick some serious ass. She doesn’t need to “wear the pants” in a relationship- the hard femme rules with a dress. She not only despises the gender binary, she works to dismantle it.”

i couldn’t find soft femme though.

here’s what i’m thinking: i’m pretty sure you mean the looks though. i’ve had some crazy talks with one of my lesbian friends and there’s all these different labels for looks that a queer woman can take on, ranging from dykes to butch to femme and all of that. i’m pretty sure you mean the looks. i can’t really explain them though so i’m sorry for that but yeah.

well i didn’t really help that much did i? D: i’m so sorry if this wasn’t very helpful…

~cam


Anonymous said: Hi! I am a lady who recently started liking ladies. At first, it was just the one girl, and now I'm realizing that I am bisexual. I've talked to my parents and family and friends, and that situation is fine. Actually, they've been incredibly supporting and helpful with me learning this about myself - I am SO grateful for that. The problem here is me. It's hard for me to accept this is who I am, and I am scared people will assume I fit negative stereotypes. How do I change my self-talk? Thanks!

hi there!

just remind yourself that you’re awesome and stay true to who you are. realizing you’re bisexual doesn’t mean that you’re any different than who you were when you thought you were straight! bisexuality is a part of you now but it, in no way, defines you or what you do!

as for the negative stereotypes, you’ll face a lot of people assuming you fit into some sort of weird stereotype but the only thing you can do to combat that is educate them!

hope i’ve helped!

~cam


Anonymous said: I've been bisexual for 8years since I was 18 and though long and hard about it and think its time I came out but have 3 main worries being made fun of 4 who's, iam 2 losing family and friends 3 never being able to find a woman to get marry start a family with so my question is are these OK worries to have andshould I come out and get it over with or stay hidden plz help thank you for your time

yes! a lot of people have the same kinds of worries that you do and they’re all very reasonable worries!

as for coming out, if you feel you should come out then do it. i can’t tell you when the right time or anything is. if you feel like you are safe coming out and you feel like you must, then do it. but if you feel like it’s not really anything that needs to be done, maybe hold it off for a bit. ultimately it’s up to you!

hope i’ve helped!

~cam


Anonymous said: Do u feel its necessary to come out in high school?

you come out when you’re good and ready. for some people it’s when they are in high school and others won’t come out until they have a life-long partner and kids already.

-cam


Anonymous said: I want to come out as bisexual but I'm scared and people tell me its not real. I secretly dated a girl last year and it was amazing Please help

To hell with what people think! If you feel comfortable with how you identify that’s great. Love is too beautiful to be hidden. Bisexuality is real, just like Heterosexuality homosexually pansexuality and anything In between! I personally think that we shouldn’t have to come out to people as bi because they don’t have to come out as straight. I would say to get a few points to tell people if they do argue about it. Although coming out seems terrifying it honestly isn’t as bad as it seems. When I came out to my friends they were okay with it, and I’m sure anyone you tell will be too. But just remember, if you plan to tell your parents and there is a possibility of them kicking you out or it risks your safety, do not, I repeat DO NOT tell them. I hope you do what’s best for you and love yourself c:
~Sophia


armyofravenclaw said: I think I'm bisexual. I am a cis girl, and I get crushes on girls pretty often, but they are not as strong and do not last as long as ones on boys. I also have not met a nonbinary person that I like, but there is nothing keeping me from liking one of them. Could I still identify as bi under these terms?

Only you can decide what you identify as, sweetheart. And you are able to switch labels whenever you want to whatever makes you comfortable. It seems to me that you may be pansexual, if the case is that gender does not matter to you for a relationship. But only you can decide. And if labels make you feel boxed in or you simply don’t like them that’s fine! You don’t need to put yourself into a box. Sorry that the response isn’t very long, but I hope I helped!
~Sophia


zaph0dbeeblebr0x said: I've been bi-curious since was 10. Just recently I've been calling myself bisexual, but idk if I actually count as Bi. I'm a girl and I've always liked guys. I've never had a crush on a girl, but I've always found them attractive. Does that make me bi? I feel so confused because I didn't know whether this was a thing or not. I've always been told that being bi is liking two genders. If you feel like it will help your followers, then it can be public I guess.

Hi there, yes bisexuality is when you like more than two genders.
Here’s the thing though who you like romantically and who you like sexually are two separate things. You can be bisexual (you like boys and girls sexually) but not biromantic (wanting to date both boys and girls). It is completely normal to be sexually attracted to people of the same gender but not be interested in a relationship with them or not have crushes on them.
When labeling yourself only choose what feels right to you.
I hope I helped.
-Alex


Anonymous said: I id as bi but im still confused. I REALLY LOVE GUYS i think theyre attractive & i get crushes on them. I find them sexually attractive but i dont actually WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM like i do with other girls, if that makes any sense. I had a crush on this guy for the past year but now we're good friends & the crush is gone & i have a crush on a girl now. Am i a lesbian? that doesnt feel right cuz i like guys too much but i dont know HELP

I can’t tell you what you are or what you are not. You are the only one who can decide.
Bisexuality is when you are attracted to more than one gender. If you feel you fit with this definition then you are bisexual.
You don’t have to want to have sex with men to bisexual. There is a difference between sexual orientation and sexual action. Orientation is what you like and how you feel. The action you take on these feelings is something separate.
I hope that has helped. You can also message us again if you need to.
-Alex


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