FuckYeah! Ask a Bi!

Anonymous said: ...I feel really confused because my romantic preferences don't match up with my sexual preferences. I'm female, and I'm romantically attracted to mostly males but I'm sexually attracted to mostly females... Is this normal? I'm so confused :(

they don’t have to match. sexual and romantic attraction aren’t the same thing. it is completely normal and yes, it can be VERY confusing!

what you’re describing would be heterosexuality but homoromanticism and that’s okay! you’re perfectly normal :)

hope i’ve helped, 

cam


Anonymous said: Hi! Not at all meant to be rude but I notice you answering a lot of questions with the phrase “both sexes”, especially when talking about the definition of bisexuality. Since that excludes anyone outside the gender binary, the appropriate term is “all sexes”. Also, bisexuality is the attraction to same and DIFFERENT (not opposite) sexes, again used to be inclusive of anyone outside the gender binary. Please don't take offense to this. Still love your blog!

if you’ve ever noticed, i personally go back and forth between “both genders” and “both binary genders”. there are a ton of times where i’ve explained things about this a lot of times but this is not a blog about gender, this is a blog about bisexuality, and a lot of people who are trying to figure out what’s going on with them don’t need the confusion of also being introduced to the fact that there are more genders than just the two binary ones.

also, bisexuality is most commonly referred to as sexual attraction to the two binary genders. this is just the easiest way to help people understand it.

trust me, as a GQ myself, i’m aware that i sometimes leave out other genders but like i said, our askers are trying to figure things out for themselves though, and it can be a lot to take in coming to terms with it, so i try to refrain from talking about a whole lot, less they have a breakdown. (because personally when i was coming to terms to it, there was too much info thrown at me at once and it was really traumatizing.)

also, remember that pansexuality is the sexuality in which you are attracted to all genders (also known as being attracted to people regardless of gender) so when talking about bisexuality, we are indeed talking about 2 different genders.

i’m not trying to be rude, i’m fully aware that there are other genders, but again, for the sake of our followers i try not to overload them with too much information all at once.

-cam


Anonymous said: Am I bisexual? I am a 14-year old girl, and recently I have been wondering about my sexuality. I always assumed that I was straight, but last year I began wondering if that was the correct identification. For as long as I can remember, I have viewed guys as attractive. I guess I convinced myself that I was heterosexual, because as soon as I started questioning, I could remember a multitude of times when I had caught myself staring at a girl in the way my friends were looking at guys. part 1 -JH

I always thought “Wait, why am I doing this?” but didn’t think much of it. Now that I’m more aware and accepting of this occurrence, I have noticed it happening more often. I have also had urges to kiss some of my friends/crushes, of both sexes. Would you say this makes me bisexual? I just want to be sure before labeling myself. I really want to join my school’s GSA, and want to be assured and proud of my sexuality, whatever it is. Thank you! -JH part 2

whether you are or aren’t bisexual, i would still suggest joining your school’s GSA. it’s the gay-straight alliance so it’s welcoming to anyone who supports.

as for your sexuality, bisexuality is the sexual attraction to both sexes. i can’t tell you if you are, only you can know that for sure, but if you feel you are sexuality attracted to both sexes, then it sounds like you’re bi!

-cam


Anonymous said: I always thought I was straight, but recently, I have started thinking more and more about sexual encounters with other males, whilst still liking women. This, however, makes me anxious. Does this make me bi? Could you answer this anonymously please

firstly, i don’t understand what you mean to “answer this anonymously.” you’re on anon so if you meant to answer this privately, i’m afraid i can’t because i don’t know who you are!

and bisexuality is most commonly defined as the sexual attraction to both binary sexes. if this is you, well then welcome to bisexuality!

-cam


Anonymous said: Hello! I'm a 14yr old girl who is thinking bi-curiously. I don't want to come out as bi yet bc I have much experimenting yet to do. I have told my mom how I feel, and she quickly dismissed the subject, saying 'People who are bi are just confused'. Also, I told my closest friend, and she said in ye nicest way possible that it is wrong in our religion and lightly suggested I fight against it. What should I say to my mom and friend? Who else should I come it to? Should I fight it?

no no no no no no no no no no. do not fight it. it’s a part of who you are and you cannot help it!

here’s what i would do. explain that, alright, maybe it is just a phase but what if it’s not? what if you are who you are? ask your mother this. and if she says you’re wrong and it’s just a phase, there’s really no point in arguing. parents like to think they know you better than you know yourself and think they are always right. one day if you date a woman she’ll have to see she was wrong.

and about your friend, explain to her that it’s a part of who you are if you are bisexual and that if she can’t except it, oh well. i, myself, am atheist but i have friends who are very religious and have spent time talking about it a lot. they have explained to me that god wouldn’t have made you who you are if he didn’t like it. god is loving and excepting of who you are, no matter who you are, and wouldn’t disown you just because of it. now, i don’t know what religion you are but you have to remember that if you are christian, Christianity stresses loving people no matter what and the people who say it is “wrong to be gay of any sort” are people, they’re not god. they themselves are against gayness, not the religion as a whole. true Christianity, as i have been told, accepts everyone.

i hope i’ve helped a bit

~cam 


Anonymous said: hello! :) I am an 18 y/o female and have always had crushes but mainly on boys. I attended an all girls school and it made me realize I had crushes on girls too. I have never dated a girl but I consider myself bi. no one knows and its hard to say anything because I come from a catholic family. but my family is very understanding and accepting of the gay community, but to them being bi is someone who doesn't know wht they want. this is why I have a hard time admitting that I am bi to family :/

Hello there,

In situations like this I say education, education, education. 

In order for people to understand bisexuality they need to be educated on what it is, what it means, and what it means to you. 

If you are feeling comfortable talk to your parents about them. 

Maybe have a look at the resources here and then show some of them to your parents.

I hope things work out for you.

- Alex


frichiela said: Just recently I finally came to term that I'm a bisexual person. At first I thought I was just being bi-curious, but then I realized I'm not. I like both genders sexually and romantically. What pisses me off, though, is the amount of how many people don't believe in bisexuality. They keep on saying that I'm only a bi-curious person! Problem is, I like this one lesbian girl who keeps rejecting me because of my sexuality. It's as if she's afraid I'd leave her if I see (another) men. Any advice?

Hey there,

That’s a really tough situation to be in. I find that the stereotypes about bisexuality are very prevalent still. Many lesbians don’t want to be with bisexuals for a few reasons, the first is that they don’t want to be with a woman who has been with a man before. Another reason is that they believe that bisexuals are more likely to cheat than anyone else.

In my honest opinion if she can’t look past your sexuality and the stereotypes that surround it then maybe she isn’t the right girl for you. People who believe all the stereotypes are not the people you should surround yourself with. They will cause you more harm than they are worth.

I’m sorry that you are in a difficult situation but I hope things work out for you.

Good luck. Feel free to message us any time. 

- Alex


xraylovesvav said: Heyo! I'm bisexual, I've been out to my friends for 2 years now (since I was 12). I've always been bi. I often found myself asking myself as a child, as young as 8-9 "why am I staring at her? I'm a girl!" Until I realized. Since I came out to my friends they've been supportive, I guess? Not mega supportive, but ya know. Anyway, I'm here for advice. I live with a mentally abusive step-father, he ignores, screams at me, swears at me and gets drunk. He has no loving nature towards me. (Pt. 1)

I’ve felt this way since I was about 11. I’ve been wanting to come out to my mom recently, and I have an irrational fear that I’ll end up being kicked out and homeless. My mom isn’t homophobic though so yeah. I forgot to add that he’s homophobic didn’t I? So should I wait until I’m out of the house or do it sooner?

Hey hun, 

This is a difficult situation. First of all, my main concern is your safety. If your father is abusive and you fear for your safety because of you sexuality and his homophobia, I would advice you to wait until you are safe before coming out.

If your mother is an ally and will help to keep you safe I would confide in her privately. Ask her if she can keep it between the two of you. Maybe ask her what she thinks you should do in the situation. I only advise that you do this if she will keep you safe and keep you sexuality private.

Also, you may want to seek professional help. I know that when your parents are completely against it is hard to navigate through that. Since your father is abusive whether you come out or not I would recommend seeing a social worker or therapist to discuss things that are going on at home.

I hope this helps. Feel free to message us again any time.

- Alex


Anonymous said: Been with my bf for five years now, so I have had much experience with hits. I don't want to break up with him but I want to be with girls.... He is in the military so we don't see each other much.... Am I cheating myself if I don't hook up with girls?

In my opinion cheating is never the answer.

If you really want to try being with women I think the best thing to do is discuss it with your boyfriend. Communication and honesty are the most important part of a relationship. Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling. Tell him what has been going on with him.

You need to think about what is most important to you. If you really want to see other people maybe it is best to consider breaking up with him. Cheating is not fair to you or to him. You need to take time to figure out what you want to and then discuss it with him as well. 

Good luck. Feel free to message us again.

- Alex


Anonymous said: Hello! A little while ago my friends labelled me as bisexual. I do identify with the label but I just say I like both men and women. I always told myself that if I realized the my sexuality/gender identity wasn't what I thought it was then I would flow with it. Problem is the whole label thing is becoming an issue. On one hand I don't really like having a label (don't know why) but then again it can make my life easier. I think I need some advice and I'd love to know what you think. PL, age 18

Hey there PL,

In my opinion it wasn’t your friends responsibility to label you as anything. 

If you are uncomfortable with labels you dont need to use labels. I know that people want everyone to be categorized into a specific group but if it’s not what you like you dont need to be. I know that sometimes it makes life easier when you have a label but if you really don’t feel comfortable using labels just tell people you aren’t labeling yourself, or that labels dont matter, or something else along those lines.

Honestly, what you identify shouldnt matter to others. You should just be you and be happy. 

I hope this helped. Feel free to message us again if you need to.

- Alex


1132
To Tumblr, Love Metalab