FuckYeah! Ask a Bi!

PSA

We can’t answer anonymous questions privately. I’ve seen a few people do this already. If your question is anonymous, we don’t know who you are and therefore can’t answer it privately.

If you come off of anon and ask your question, then we can answer privately. Please keep this in mind when asking! 

thanks,

-cam


Anonymous said: I usually refer to myself as a bisexual, but some days lean more towards to women, some days more to men. Occasionally I'll feel totally attracted to one gender and not the other. Is there a separate term for this? Or is it normal?

This is completely normally. A lot of times with bisexuality your sexuality is fluid and you will lean one way and then the other. This is totally normal. Many people experience this.

- Alec


dontletmego13 said: I came out to my best friend two nights ago and he had the best reaction I could've hoped for. He's the first person I've come out to. When we were talking today we just casually talked about girls and it felt amazing to be able to do that without having to pretend I was joking. I just love that I can finally be the real me around someone.

That is so amazing! I am so happy for you lovely! So glad you have a great friend to support you!

- Alex


Anonymous said: hey so I originally thought I was bisexual but recently I've been wondering if I'm actually asexual or demisexual maybe, and biromantic/panromantic. I am definitely attracted to both guys and girls, and probably more genders than that, but I kinda switch between feeling as if I never ever want to have sex bc the whole idea seems kinda gross to me, and other times I'm like meh it might be alright. idk, just wanted to ask what you guys think cos I haven't talked to anyone about this yet. thanks :)

Hey there,

I think in a situation like this the best thing for you to do is look into some research. I found when I was starting to get confused by my sexuality it really helped me to do some research on what I was thinking I may or may not be. The research helped me figure out what I felt comfortable identifying as or what described me the closest.

Also knowing the definitions of the terms help as well.

Asexuality is when a person does not feel sexual attraction to any gender.

Demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction based on physical characteristics, but may develop sexual attractions based on an emotional or mental connection with another person.

Biromantic is a person who feels romantic attraction to two or more genders.

Panromantic is a person who feels romantic attraction to all genders.

Here are some resources that may help you in your search:

Asexuality.org

This article (about discovering asexuality)

Asexual awareness

Asexuality Archive (discusses what is under the ace umbrella such as demisexuality)

The thinking Asexual (explains demisexuality and gray-asexuality)

Bifactor (discusses biromantic asexuality)

I hope that some of these help you out.

Feel free to message us again any time.

-Alex


Anonymous said: ...I feel really confused because my romantic preferences don't match up with my sexual preferences. I'm female, and I'm romantically attracted to mostly males but I'm sexually attracted to mostly females... Is this normal? I'm so confused :(

they don’t have to match. sexual and romantic attraction aren’t the same thing. it is completely normal and yes, it can be VERY confusing!

what you’re describing would be heterosexuality but homoromanticism and that’s okay! you’re perfectly normal :)

hope i’ve helped, 

cam


Anonymous said: Hi! Not at all meant to be rude but I notice you answering a lot of questions with the phrase “both sexes”, especially when talking about the definition of bisexuality. Since that excludes anyone outside the gender binary, the appropriate term is “all sexes”. Also, bisexuality is the attraction to same and DIFFERENT (not opposite) sexes, again used to be inclusive of anyone outside the gender binary. Please don't take offense to this. Still love your blog!

if you’ve ever noticed, i personally go back and forth between “both genders” and “both binary genders”. there are a ton of times where i’ve explained things about this a lot of times but this is not a blog about gender, this is a blog about bisexuality, and a lot of people who are trying to figure out what’s going on with them don’t need the confusion of also being introduced to the fact that there are more genders than just the two binary ones.

also, bisexuality is most commonly referred to as sexual attraction to the two binary genders. this is just the easiest way to help people understand it.

trust me, as a GQ myself, i’m aware that i sometimes leave out other genders but like i said, our askers are trying to figure things out for themselves though, and it can be a lot to take in coming to terms with it, so i try to refrain from talking about a whole lot, less they have a breakdown. (because personally when i was coming to terms to it, there was too much info thrown at me at once and it was really traumatizing.)

also, remember that pansexuality is the sexuality in which you are attracted to all genders (also known as being attracted to people regardless of gender) so when talking about bisexuality, we are indeed talking about 2 different genders.

i’m not trying to be rude, i’m fully aware that there are other genders, but again, for the sake of our followers i try not to overload them with too much information all at once.

-cam


Anonymous said: Am I bisexual? I am a 14-year old girl, and recently I have been wondering about my sexuality. I always assumed that I was straight, but last year I began wondering if that was the correct identification. For as long as I can remember, I have viewed guys as attractive. I guess I convinced myself that I was heterosexual, because as soon as I started questioning, I could remember a multitude of times when I had caught myself staring at a girl in the way my friends were looking at guys. part 1 -JH

I always thought “Wait, why am I doing this?” but didn’t think much of it. Now that I’m more aware and accepting of this occurrence, I have noticed it happening more often. I have also had urges to kiss some of my friends/crushes, of both sexes. Would you say this makes me bisexual? I just want to be sure before labeling myself. I really want to join my school’s GSA, and want to be assured and proud of my sexuality, whatever it is. Thank you! -JH part 2

whether you are or aren’t bisexual, i would still suggest joining your school’s GSA. it’s the gay-straight alliance so it’s welcoming to anyone who supports.

as for your sexuality, bisexuality is the sexual attraction to both sexes. i can’t tell you if you are, only you can know that for sure, but if you feel you are sexuality attracted to both sexes, then it sounds like you’re bi!

-cam


Anonymous said: I always thought I was straight, but recently, I have started thinking more and more about sexual encounters with other males, whilst still liking women. This, however, makes me anxious. Does this make me bi? Could you answer this anonymously please

firstly, i don’t understand what you mean to “answer this anonymously.” you’re on anon so if you meant to answer this privately, i’m afraid i can’t because i don’t know who you are!

and bisexuality is most commonly defined as the sexual attraction to both binary sexes. if this is you, well then welcome to bisexuality!

-cam


Anonymous said: Hello! I'm a 14yr old girl who is thinking bi-curiously. I don't want to come out as bi yet bc I have much experimenting yet to do. I have told my mom how I feel, and she quickly dismissed the subject, saying 'People who are bi are just confused'. Also, I told my closest friend, and she said in ye nicest way possible that it is wrong in our religion and lightly suggested I fight against it. What should I say to my mom and friend? Who else should I come it to? Should I fight it?

no no no no no no no no no no. do not fight it. it’s a part of who you are and you cannot help it!

here’s what i would do. explain that, alright, maybe it is just a phase but what if it’s not? what if you are who you are? ask your mother this. and if she says you’re wrong and it’s just a phase, there’s really no point in arguing. parents like to think they know you better than you know yourself and think they are always right. one day if you date a woman she’ll have to see she was wrong.

and about your friend, explain to her that it’s a part of who you are if you are bisexual and that if she can’t except it, oh well. i, myself, am atheist but i have friends who are very religious and have spent time talking about it a lot. they have explained to me that god wouldn’t have made you who you are if he didn’t like it. god is loving and excepting of who you are, no matter who you are, and wouldn’t disown you just because of it. now, i don’t know what religion you are but you have to remember that if you are christian, Christianity stresses loving people no matter what and the people who say it is “wrong to be gay of any sort” are people, they’re not god. they themselves are against gayness, not the religion as a whole. true Christianity, as i have been told, accepts everyone.

i hope i’ve helped a bit

~cam 


Anonymous said: hello! :) I am an 18 y/o female and have always had crushes but mainly on boys. I attended an all girls school and it made me realize I had crushes on girls too. I have never dated a girl but I consider myself bi. no one knows and its hard to say anything because I come from a catholic family. but my family is very understanding and accepting of the gay community, but to them being bi is someone who doesn't know wht they want. this is why I have a hard time admitting that I am bi to family :/

Hello there,

In situations like this I say education, education, education. 

In order for people to understand bisexuality they need to be educated on what it is, what it means, and what it means to you. 

If you are feeling comfortable talk to your parents about them. 

Maybe have a look at the resources here and then show some of them to your parents.

I hope things work out for you.

- Alex


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